Cursed Daughters by Oyinkan Braithwaite - 80

‘Mo?’

It was eight p.m. and she was trying to force herself to sleep. She craved that infinite abyss, but it evaded her. Ebun opened the door wider and slipped into the room.

‘I’ve been thinking.’

‘Hmm?’

‘I think. I think I am … I’m not going to go through with the pregnancy.’ Mo didn’t move, didn’t breathe. She wished Ebun away. She wished herself away. ‘I can’t do it. I thought I could. But … it is too much.’ Ebun’s voice was low, as though she were talking to herself. ‘I’m only twenty. And we both know how hard it was for us without a father in our lives. I wouldn’t wish that on this … on anyone. I am going to go to a place a friend told me about tonight.’

‘Isn’t it too late?’

‘I don’t think so … They say you can … umm … up to four months.’ They were both talking to their hands, the table, the bed. They couldn’t look one another in the eye.

‘Okay.’

‘Maybe you should come.’

‘No.’

‘No?’

‘This is mine and Kalu’s …’

Ebun sighed. ‘Whoever you thought Kalu was, he is not that person. You do not want to be tied to that drama for the rest of your life.’ Judging Mo’s situation had given Ebun’s voice a base it had lacked just moments ago. How easy it was to solve the problems of others.

‘I love him.’

‘Does he love you? And if he does, where is he? Maybe we can do this together, and help each other through it.’ Mo didn’t say anything. ‘Okay. Look, I am leaving at ten p.m. sha. Let me know if you want to join me.’

Then Ebun was gone. And the room was quiet again, and Mo could go back to not sleeping.

At ten p.m., she was waiting in the hallway for Ebun. Their mothers were asleep and Tolu was in his room; she could hear Californication drifting towards them. They would be back before anyone noticed they were gone – that was the plan anyway.

Ebun was wearing a bubu, one that looked as if it belonged to Aunty Kemi. She was smaller in this light, and Mo thought she spotted her shivering. They didn’t have to do this. She didn’t want to do this; but she said nothing.

‘Let’s go,’ Ebun said without meeting her eyes. Her voice sounded brash. Mo followed her younger cousin out of the house and to the main road.

They couldn’t go to a hospital; what they were doing was illegal. She didn’t ask where they were headed to, how Ebun had gotten the details, whether it was safe. She couldn’t speak at all. Her body was heavy, her movements sluggish; all she could manage was putting one foot in front of the other. A cab slowed for the two young women standing on the side of the road and navigated to the address Ebun had written on the back of her hand. Their destination turned out to be a nondescript house; just one of many on an overpopulated road. Ebun banged on the black gate and they waited. Mo wrapped her arms around herself and looked around to see if anyone was watching them. A couple of minutes went by and Ebun banged on the door again. There was still a chance to run to the waiting cab man, tell him to take them home.

‘Ebun—’ Mo was interrupted by the sound of a bolt being drawn, and the gate was opened. Ebun entered the darkness and Mo followed suit.

On the other side was a tall man who asked them for their names, to which Ebun calmly replied, ‘Anu and Bola.’ The man told them to wait. A few more minutes went by, and a thin woman came out from the house. She was carrying two plastic bags.

‘Where is the money?’

Ebun handed her a wad of cash. Mo had not even considered that payment would be involved. She would have to remember to pay Ebun back.

‘When you get home eh, you will drink this. Drink all of it o! And then give it some time. Whatever is inside you will come out.’

‘It is safe?’

‘I have used it myself. You don’t have to worry.’

Mo had thought they would take the drugs together, but they didn’t speak on their way back home, and then Ebun quietly retired to her room. Mo locked herself in the bathroom, added the tablet to a cup of water, closed her eyes and chugged the bitter pill.