Cursed Daughters by Oyinkan Braithwaite - 92
‘I’m not Golden Boy. I am me. And you are you,’ Zubby said. A week had gone by, and she had finally picked up one of his calls. He’d asked to come over, and she figured she owed him that much. But she had decided what she would do, and she knew he wouldn’t like it. ‘You’ve been compared to Golden Bo...
‘I’m not Golden Boy. I am me. And you are you,’ Zubby said.
A week had gone by, and she had finally picked up one of his calls. He’d asked to come over, and she figured she owed him that much. But she had decided what she would do, and she knew he wouldn’t like it.
‘You’ve been compared to Golden Boy for all of five minutes. I have sparred with Monife all my life. So excuse me if I feel differently.’
He grabbed her hands and held them, bringing them to his lips. ‘Fuck that. Eni, this is us. You and me. We can survive this. You know we can.’
She was tempted then, because he meant it, he really was going to defy the gods. Or Monife, at least. His teeth were clenched and his eyes were glaring and he looked like a man who was crafted with love. She could see who he was now and who he would be. And it was beautiful.
Her face was wet, but she pulled her hands free from his. ‘I slept with Funsho,’ she blurted. ‘I’m sorry.’
He dropped her hands, and it felt as though she had been pushed into the void. ‘Wha—? Why?’ He looked stunned, as if she’d just slapped him.
‘I needed to know. I need to know that I can forge my own path, that I am not being manipulated by a dead—’
He turned and punched the wall of her room. And then he stuck his reddened fists in his pockets. ‘Fuck! You can’t blame everything you do on … on … Shit. I can’t believe this is happening.’
‘I’m sorry.’ She had done it. She couldn’t take it back; she had corrupted the most beautiful thing she had ever experienced. She had broken off the thing that bound her to Monife, even more than her DNA. She had no right to cry.
‘So that’s it? Our time together meant nothing?’
‘I …’ She wanted to tell him that she loved him, but she knew that would mean nothing to him now.
‘Was it good?’
‘It wasn’t about that …’
His shoulders dropped and he started gathering his things together, defeated. ‘So you guys are together now.’
‘I am not with anyone. I just … I am tired of walking in her shadow, Z. I don’t expect you to understand.’
‘I really wanted to, Eni. You just never gave me a chance.’
When he left, Grandma East gathered her into her arms. It had always felt safe in Grandma East’s arms, and warm. Eniiyi felt free to weep; to soak her grandmother’s cotton wear in salt-heavy tears. She was after all, a girl of the sea, the woman who drowned and then came back to life.
‘Hush, hush, my baby.’
But she didn’t hush. She cried for the woman who had lost her love, lost her baby and lost the will to live; she wept for the man who had opened her heart, only to discover that their love had been doomed from the start; and she shed tears for herself, the girl who had spent her entire life trying not to be a ghost.