Dawn of Chaos and Fury by Melissa K. Roehrich - 16

13

“ U se your hips and your hit will be more powerful.”

Tessa spun at the voice, finding Eliza standing in the doorway.

“I’ve never seen you in here before,” the female said, striding deeper into the training room until she came to a stop a few feet away from where Tessa had been throwing punches at a giant bag of sand that was bigger than she was.

“I wait until the room isn’t in use,” Tessa answered, her hands clenched at her sides. They were wrapped the way Luka had taught her, but it had been quite some time since Luka had trained her. She was just in here trying to avoid falling asleep, and if she was doing that, she may as well continue her training on her own. Which was stupid because she had no idea what the fuck she was doing. She mainly tried to go through drills that Luka had taught her, but if her form was off, there was no one here to tell her.

Until now apparently.

Eliza nodded, pushing her red-gold hair back over a shoulder. The female was in looser pants than normal and a low-cut tank top. Clothing Tessa rarely saw her wear. It felt too… modern for the clothes Eliza favored. Despite that, there was still a dagger shoved down the side of her boot.

“Your form is decent enough, but you need to swing more from your hips. Not just your torso. Use your whole body. Your hit will have more force,” she said, crossing her arms and jerking her chin.

Tessa stared back at her, unsure of what to say because was she…giving her an order?

“Well?” Eliza said irritably.

“Well, what?” Tessa asked.

“Are you going to try it? Or is this a waste of my time?”

“I didn’t ask you to come in here,” Tessa said, utterly perplexed by this entire interaction.

“Just try it. And don’t tuck your thumb,” she added.

“Yeah, yeah,” Tessa muttered. Luka had drilled that into her as much as he’d drilled her stance into her.

Planting her feet in the proper position, she readied herself, inhaling deeply. Then, twisting from her torso and hips, she punched out, keeping the path of her fist straight. And, yeah, all right, there was more force behind it.

“Good,” Eliza said. “You learn quick.”

Tessa turned back to her, hands dropping to her side. “I’m sorry, but what are you doing here?”

“I brought you something. Or rather, I stole you something. But I hear it’s yours anyway, so is it really stealing?”

There was a bright burst of flames that had Tessa twisting away, but when she turned back, the female stood there with a bow in her hand. Memories of the last time she’d held it clawed up from the dark places she’d locked them away, and with them was her magic as her control slipped the smallest amount.

Auryon’s bow.

Her bow.

“You stole this?” Tessa said, reaching tentatively for the weapon. “From Luka?”

Eliza nodded. “I’m sure he’ll be pissy as fuck when he realizes it’s gone, but I’ve dealt with plenty of dragon tantrums.”

Tessa took the bow, feeling the weight of so much more than wood and string as she held it in her hand.

“I don’t even know how to use it,” she whispered, but gods, her power was buzzing inside her. Frenetic and forceful, it was drawn to the bow in the same way it was drawn to power, and she wasn’t entirely sure what to make of that.

“No better time to learn,” Eliza said. “We can go outside.”

“It’s the middle of the night,” Tessa argued. “I won’t even be able to see anything to shoot at.”

“And I’m a fire Fae,” the female retorted, lifting a palm where flames sprang to life. Flames that were allowed to breathe and dance and had purpose.

“Tessa?” Eliza asked when she didn’t respond.

“Sorry,” Tessa murmured, still transfixed on the fire before she shook her head to clear it. “I get… Wait, where is Razik? You two are never apart.”

The female huffed a laugh. “We are, in fact, often apart. My Court is on one continent; the king he serves is on another.”

“That seems inconvenient.”

Eliza shrugged. “We make it work. Are we going outside or not?”

Truthfully, breathing fresh air and seeing the sky sounded like the perfect distraction, so Tessa nodded, falling into step beside Eliza as she looped the bow across her chest.

“You are his Source, right?” Tessa asked, keeping her voice low since the rest of the cave slept.

“I am,” she answered.

“By choice.”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

Eliza glanced at her before looking ahead again. “That is a long story.”

“Is it because you are his twin flame?”

“No. I actually hated that for quite some time and refused to accept that bond.”

Tessa tripped on air at those words. “You… What?”

“Razik figured out what we were before I did, but he never pushed for it. He’d experienced someone trying to force a bond on him, and he swore he’d never do that. He…” Eliza sighed, the next words sounding pained. “He would have let me go if I had wished for it.”

“But you chose him.”

“I did.”

“And he chose you.”

“Obviously.”

“And you don’t regret it?” Tessa pushed as they stepped into the fresh air.

Eliza was quiet for a long moment before she answered, “No, I don’t regret any of it, but that doesn’t mean it’s right for everyone. Only you can decide if it’s the right path for you.”

“Right,” Tessa murmured, tipping her face up to the sky.

Within seconds, there was a rustle before Roan and Nylah appeared, climbing over the rocky terrain. It was not that they couldn’t come inside the cave. They just…didn’t. Roan appeared in there every once in a while, but for the most part, they stayed outside. Patrolling and guarding, apparently finding her safe enough when inside. But they were always here when she ventured out with Xan.

It was cloudless tonight, revealing all the stars usually kept hidden. The moon was waning though, only a sliver of it visible, allowing the dark to obscure those wanting to stay hidden. A part of her wanted to just sit here and soak it in. It was peaceful, as if a piece of her soul loved the dark and night.

Or maybe it just made her feel closer to him.

It didn’t matter in the end. Not as flames erupted in a large perimeter, burning nothing and lighting up the night. The heat warmed her skin, and Tessa wished she was in a tank top like Eliza rather than the fitted long-sleeve training top she wore, even if it did leave her torso exposed.

With a flick of her wrist, another pillar of fire sprang to life, twisting and writhing until it took on the shape of a large and broad male. Then Eliza turned back to her, motioning impatiently to the bow slung across Tessa’s chest.

“You can’t shoot it that way,” the female chastised.

“I know that,” Tessa grumbled, her fingers winding into Roan’s soft fur while Nylah sat near the perimeter. “I’m not going to be shooting anything without arrows. Auryon always just…had some.”

“Yeah, I know someone like that too,” Eliza said. “I found these though when I was looking for that bow.”

Another burst of flames receded, and she held a quiver.

“Where did you find it anyway?” Tessa asked, lifting the bow over her head.

Eliza pulled an arrow from the quiver before setting it aside. “He hid it in one of the narrow passages off the gallery.

“What gallery?”

“The one with all the empty frames on the walls. So maybe not a gallery? I don’t know, but it was in a narrow tunnel off that.” When Tessa only blinked back at her, Eliza said, “You didn’t know about that space?”

“No. I…” She trailed off before clearing her throat. “This is only the second time I have been here, and the first time I didn’t exactly get a tour. I try not to intrude on his space…”

She trailed off again, trying not to think about what had transpired the first time she had been here. It was why she kept herself busy, and she suspected it was also why Xan often took her outside. But now that she was thinking about it, she had to actively work against the onslaught of emotions she was trying desperately to keep locked away. Her magic thrived when she was… Well, when she was unbalanced.

“There’s no such thing as balanced,” she murmured, dragging her fingers along the smooth curve of the bow.

Streaks of her power were left in their wake, curling around the wood before seeming to sink into it. It warmed beneath her touch, and more power rushed from her so suddenly, it took her a moment to wrestle it back into submission.

Tessa’s head snapped up, her gaze locking onto Eliza’s grey stare where the female was watching her cautiously. “The stars and the realms are obsessed with the balance, but there’s no such thing. We are all wasting our time. How do we find something that doesn’t exist?”

Eliza seemed to weigh her words before she finally said, “Maybe balance isn’t something to be found or fixed or rectified. Maybe balance is something to be created. Maybe we get to decide what that balance looks like.”

“For the realm? We decide that for everyone? For the spaces in the voids and the stars that cease to shine? For the kings and the forgotten? For the magic wielders and the mortals?”

Each word was more panicked, coming faster and faster.

“That can’t be right,” Tessa went on, her heart beating too fast. An agitated growl rumbled from Roan where he sat a few feet away, his glowing eyes glimmering brighter with the flames.

“It’s not up to one person to decide what balance is for the realms, Tessa,” Eliza said. “But you do get to decide what balance is for you . Just because the world is trying to tell you what it should look like doesn’t make it true. What is balance for me may not be balance for you.”

“But you gave in to your balance,” Tessa argued. “You accepted a bond you didn’t want.”

“It was something we both grew to want over time. It wasn’t instantaneous like I’ve witnessed with other twin flame bonds. It’s different, and we wouldn’t trade that because it’s ours . We made it what it is, and your balance will look different from what everyone else thinks it should look like. Fuck what others think. It’s still a choice. Your choice. No matter what this realm has tried to convince you of otherwise. You get to decide what your balance is and who you choose to bring into that balance,” Eliza said with such fierceness it had Tessa blinking in surprise as her words rolled over in her mind.

“And the rest of the realms? What does balance ever really look like?” she mused. “Or do we just leave that up to the gods?”

“I don’t know that it should be left up to any single being,” Eliza said, stepping closer and turning Tessa to face the other way. “I think it is the responsibility of those with the most power to ensure those with the least are cared for and treated the same as those with plenty. It is no fault of a mortal that they were born with no magic in their veins in a realm with Fae or Shifters or others.”

“Or a Fae born in a realm ruled by Legacy,” Tessa murmured.

Eliza paused for a moment, her gaze flicking to Tessa once more before returning to assessing her form. “Yes,” the female agreed. “Or that.”

Tessa hummed as Eliza tapped the ground with her toe, showing her where to plant her feet. There was no more talk of balance or stars, kings or mortals. She didn’t want to think anymore, so she focused entirely on what Eliza was telling her.

“Stand straight, and don’t lean back,” she was saying as she adjusted Tessa’s fingers on the weapon. “Square your shoulders, keep them directly over your hips, and keep your feet shoulder-width apart.” Tessa adjusted slightly before Eliza said, “Good. Now, lift the bow in front of you. Your arm holding it should be mostly straight. Only a slight bend in the elbow. No, that’s too much bend,” she said when Tessa shifted.

The female stepped forward, straightening her arm more.

“Like this,” she said. “You want the bones in your arm to hold the weight when you draw the string back, not your muscles.” She tapped her other arm. “We call this one your draw arm. Keep it high when you draw back. A little higher,” she said when Tessa pulled back on the string. “At least as high as your nose. When we add the arrow, you want the crease of the elbow on the same level as the arrow or above the line of the arrow at full draw.”

Tessa nodded, trying to absorb all the information as Eliza handed her the arrow, showing her how to nock it. She got back into position, a thrill zipping through her at learning this. She didn’t know why. She’d never had any desire to shoot a bow, but something about Auryon telling her it was her birthright… It made her feel connected to something , even if she had no idea who or what that was.

“Pull back on the string,” Eliza instructed. “The string should touch the tip of your nose without leaning your head forward or backwards. Stay standing straight and relax.”

“I can’t relax after everything you just told me,” Tessa snapped, irritated when Eliza stepped behind her and tugged on her shoulders, proving she was leaning forward.

The female ignored the retort. “Take a breath and focus on your target. When you’re ready, release the string.”

Tessa inhaled deeply, trying to force her body to relax. It was pointless. She hadn’t felt relaxed in weeks. Her muscles were always tense; her body strung too tight. But she tried anyway, inhaling once more before she released the string, mainly because it was becoming too difficult to maintain the draw.

She heard the arrow whistle through the air as it was released.

And then it hit to the far right. It didn’t even touch the flaming target.

“Good,” Eliza said, already handing her another arrow.

“Good?” Tessa repeated. “I didn’t even hit anything.”

“I would have been thoroughly impressed if you did.”

“You expected me to miss.”

Eliza gave her an incredulous look. “It was your first time shooting a bow. Of course I expected you to miss. To be honest, I’m surprised the arrow even went as far as it did.”

“You could have warned me.”

“Warned you that you were going to be terrible at this the first time you attempted it? Why did you expect otherwise?”

Tessa pursed her lips, snatching the next arrow from Eliza’s hand and nocking it to the string. “Tell me what to fix.”

The next two hours went on in the same way. Tessa would shoot until the quiver was empty, Eliza correcting her and giving her tips after every shot, and then they’d go collect the arrows and start all over again. At least she was hitting the target now—most of the time—but never where she was actually aiming.

Eliza held out the quiver as Tessa deposited a handful of arrows she’d gathered before they both continued to search for two that were missing. Even with the fire, there were still areas cast in shadows. And gods, Tessa was hot with all these flames. It was like when she slept next to Luka.

Glancing up at the sky as she swiped up another arrow, she turned back to Eliza, finding her with the other missing one. Tessa closed the space, dropping the arrow into the quiver before they turned to head back to the shooting line.

“You have a lot of Marks,” Tessa said, because with the female in a sleeveless shirt, she could see them all. Some on her arms, across her chest. There were even a few on her back.

“I do,” she agreed.

“What are they for?”

“Some have a purpose for strength and abilities. Some are loyalty Marks to my Court. A couple are bonds.”

Tessa nodded, trailing her eyes over them and stopping at the one atop her heart. The same place she bore a Mark.

“I thought there was only one Source Mark in your world,” Tessa said.

“There is,” Eliza answered, tapping a Mark on her forearm.

“Then what is the purpose of this one?” Tessa asked, brushing her fingers over her own heart.

Eliza stilled, one hand coming up to cover the Mark on her skin before she dropped her hand again. Her hands curled into fists, and Tessa wasn’t sure what to do or why the question had elicited such a reaction.

“Not all my Marks were given by choice, just as not all of yours were,” Eliza finally answered.

“But I thought you were free there?”

“We are free in that we are not forced to serve another, yes, but we are not free of injustice and moral failings,” she replied tightly. “There will always be those who believe they deserve more or are superior simply because of the blood in their veins, the family they descend from, and in some cases, because they have a cock between their legs.”

Tessa took an arrow from the quiver that Eliza held out, nocking it to the string. “Then isn’t leaving here pointless? You are simply exchanging one realm’s problems for another.”

“Every realm has problems, Tessa. Just as every kingdom, every family, every relationship has problems. None of them are perfect, but there are those who try harder to thrive despite those imperfections. Widen your feet.”

Tessa adjusted her position before pulling the string back.

“Keep your spine straight, including your neck,” she added.

Tessa took a deep breath, releasing the arrow. It hit lower than where she was aiming, but at least it had gone straight.

Lowering the bow, she turned to face Eliza. “Do you like stories?”

“What?”

“Stories,” Tessa repeated. “Do you like them?”

For whatever reason, the female became very cautious when she answered, “I don’t particularly care for them, but I know of one who loves to tell stories.”

Tessa took a step forward, excitement coursing through her. “Are they good ones?”

“No. They’re dreadful, but a few find them enlightening.”

“Oh,” was all Tessa said. Then her head tilted. “You will not tell me the story of that Mark?”

“No, she will not,” came a dark, lethal voice.

But Tessa paid him no mind, reaching for another arrow as Razik came prowling closer to them.

“It’s fine, Raz,” Eliza said, although there was something new in her tone. A hint of sadness maybe? “She doesn’t know.”

“It is not something you need to share if you don’t want to,” he retorted.

So protective.

She’d had that once.

That was what Tessa thought to herself as she silently placed the arrow on the string.

“It’s a Curse Mark,” Eliza said, shoving around the dragon who’d planted himself between her and Tessa. “The male I believed to be my father for a time put it there because I was born with fire magic rather than earth magic like he had.”

Tessa slowly lowered the bow she had raised. “But you cannot control that.”

“As I’ve already said, my world is not free of injustice and moral failings. It simply looks different there,” she replied. “He had plans for me, and those plans were destroyed because of who, or rather what, I turned out to be.”

Well, if anyone could understand that, it was Tessa.

“In retaliation, he cursed me with this Mark before he abandoned me. Live or die, I was no longer his concern,” Eliza went on. “But he made sure I could not have children of my own to ‘disappoint him further,’ as he worded it.”

Tessa’s power was writhing in her soul, and she knew there were streaks of light flickering in her eyes when she asked, “Does he still breathe?”

“No,” she answered.

Tessa’s gaze flicked to Razik. “He avenged you?”

“I avenged myself,” Eliza retorted.

Razik was quiet, his arms crossed over his broad chest, but the glare he was aiming at Tessa told her he wasn’t happy this was being discussed.

Too bad for him Tessa didn’t care what he thought.

“But you still bear the Mark?” Tessa asked.

“It is forever,” Eliza answered, jerking her chin in an order to get back to practicing.

“Perhaps not forever,” Razik cut in.

Eliza rolled her eyes as she reached out to lift Tessa’s drawing elbow a little higher. “Razik thinks he will find a way to remove it.”

“Because you want children?” she asked, glancing at the dragon shifter.

“Because she deserves to make that choice for herself,” he replied. “It has nothing to do with me.”

That was a valid reason, she supposed. Actually, the reason gave her a new kind of respect for the male altogether.

Inhaling deeply, she released the arrow, and to her shock, it hit just to the right of where she was aiming.

“Good,” Eliza said, handing over another arrow. “Again.”

Several minutes later, Tessa released the last arrow in the quiver. “I don’t understand how Auryon could shoot three of these at a time.”

“Agreed,” Eliza said around a yawn. “Our Fire Court Second can manage two at a time, but there is another in our world who can fire three. No idea how.”

“There is a Huntress in your world?” Tessa asked, looping the bow over her chest while Razik went to retrieve the arrows this time.

“She is not a Huntress,” the male answered from across the makeshift archery range. “At least, not fully. We are unsure what she is.”

Another thing Tessa could relate to.

Razik was back in far less time than it was taking her and Eliza to retrieve the arrows. He placed them into the quiver as Eliza yawned again.

“You need to rest, mai dragocen ,” he said, with far more gentleness than he ever showed anyone else.

“I know,” she grumbled. Turning to Tessa, she asked, “Are you ready to head inside?”

“You two go ahead. I’m going to stay out here a little longer,” Tessa answered, Roan reappearing at her side and rubbing along her legs.

“My flames will go out. It will be dark,” Eliza said, her brow furrowing.

Tessa clasped her hands in front of her. “Yes, I’m aware.”

Eliza glanced up at Razik, uncertainty on her features. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to leave her out here alone, Raz.”

“She’s not alone. The two of you haven’t been alone this entire time, and I do not mean the wolves,” he answered, his eyes darting to the sky.

“Luka is out here,” she said in understanding.

He nodded, his hand dropping to her lower back as he guided her inside. “She’ll be fine.”

Tessa wasn’t sure if fine was the word to use, but she’d also known Luka had been out there the whole time. With the waning moon, he wasn’t visible against the night sky, but she knew. She always knew when they were near, bond or no bond.

So it was no surprise when a giant dragon appeared moments later, settling down on a ledge above her. His glowing eyes seemed even brighter with Eliza’s fire gone. They were the only thing illuminating the night now.

“Do you want to hear a story?” Tessa called out as she sank to her knees, the cold earth biting through her thin training pants.

He didn’t answer, and she knew he wouldn’t.

“In all things there must be balance,” she started. “Beginnings and endings. Light and dark. Fire and shadows. But in bids for power and answers to challenges, we are never happy. We always want more and more and more. Guardians were created,” she murmured, and she heard him creep closer down the side of the mountain as her voice lowered. This story was more for her anyway. “Maraans were his answer. Hunters were created, and in turn, the Huntresses were brought into existence. And I…”

She picked up an arrow, slicing the arrowhead along her palm before she gripped the bow in blood. She’d wanted to be alone for this, and with Eliza gone, in a sense, she was.

“I am both, aren’t I?”

Luka roared in warning at the same time she recited the words Auryon had told her. Magic rolled out of her. Threads of light and dark. Glowing golds and silvers. Life and death. It all wound around the bow until she felt like it was a piece of her.

Innate.

Intrinsic.

Hers .

“Tessa, just wait,” Luka said, having shifted at some point and landing several feet away. Now he was taking long strides to reach her.

She looked up to find him shirtless, his wings still splayed, and gods, when was the last time she saw him like this? When they spent their time here, forgetting about the world for a few precious hours? But she remembered. Her body remembered. She knew every dip of his abdomen. Knew what his fingers would feel like when they touched her. She remembered when they’d needed to drown in each other because no one else understood. She remembered what it was like to have him look at her with something other than the hard indifference staring back at her now.

“You do not need to be here, Luka,” she said, gracefully rising back to her feet. “I am not your Ward.”

“But you will be,” he countered.

She shook her head as she murmured, “You still don’t see.”

“I see just fine, Tessa,” he replied, snatching up the quiver as she reached to grab an arrow.

“You do?” she asked in relief.

“I see you out here doing something incredibly reck⁠—”

His words died as she lifted a hand. Her power swirled, and when it receded, she held an arrow between her fingers.

“Tessa,” he breathed, and gods . There was a reverence in her name that she hadn’t heard from him in weeks.

He stepped closer, examining the arrow, because while it looked exactly like the arrows she’d been shooting all night, she knew it wasn’t. Knew Luka could feel it was something other too.

“What did you do?” he asked, leaning in close to inspect the weapon.

His scent assaulted her, and she could feel his heat, warming her soul in a way no fire ever could.

“Something wild and reckless,” she answered.

“How did you do it?”

“I don’t know. I never know.”

“We’ll work on that,” he answered, his fingers brushing over hers as he gently took the arrow from her.

“We… We will?” she asked, knowing better than to let the hope trying to blossom in her chest bloom.

“Yes. This is another power you need to understand. Need to control,” he replied, handing the arrow back to her.

“Oh,” was all she said, reaching for the arrow.

“But not tonight. You need to rest too.”

“No,” she said simply.

No sleeping.

Sleeping made it worse.

So much worse.

“Tessa—”

“In all things there must be balance,” she murmured, nocking the arrow before raising the bow. “Beginnings and endings.” She took aim at a dead tree in the distance. The trunk was half gone, and the bare branches were brittle. “Light and dark.” She inhaled deeply, holding the breath for one second. Two. Three. “Fire and shadows,” she whispered on the exhale, releasing the arrow.

It struck true. She knew it wasn’t her skill, but this new thing guiding the arrow.

And the entire tree was nothing but the same gold and silver ashes of her power moments later.

“By Sargon,” Luka said, awe ringing in the words.

The same way he’d once said her name.

She looped her bow over her chest, turning away from him and heading back to the cave entrance.

“Tessa?” he called after her.

“I’m not your Ward, Luka,” she called back. “We’re not yours to worry about anymore.”

But suddenly he was there, having Traveled to block her path. “You are mine to worry about. Theon entrusted you to me⁠—”

Her harsh bark of laughter cut him off, and she couldn’t blame him. It bordered on hysterical.

She felt hysterical.

She felt out of control.

She felt unbalanced.

“Okay,” he said calmly. “Okay, Tessa. Just… Take a breath.”

It was only then she realized her power had surrounded her. An armor between him and her.

“Let’s just take a moment,” he said. “We’ll figure all this out.”

“There is nothing to figure out,” she said, her words cold and void of all the emotions she was feeling. “He doesn’t want us. You don’t want us. The only ones who want us, want to use us. I will figure it out. I am not your Ward.”

“But you will be,” he insisted. “We need to figure out how that will work.”

“We do not,” she replied, pushing past him. “I am not going to become your Ward.”

His brow furrowed. “Of course you will.”

“No, I won’t. I saved him for you. Or I’m trying to. But even if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t bind myself to someone who doesn’t want me. I would never force you into something you do not want.”

He reached out, trying to grab her elbow to stop her, but then he hissed a curse as her power bit into him. She felt his eyes on her long after she’d disappeared into the depths of the cave, and she kept her magic in place just as long.

A barrier.

A physical blocking as much as an emotional blocking.

It was the only way she was going to survive this. She’d fucked up. She’d hurt him, but she didn’t deserve to be treated like a burden. And she’d meant what she’d said. She wouldn’t force him into a Guardian bond because he thought it was his duty.

She was more than a duty. She was more than her power. She was more than the blood in her veins and the beings she descended from. She was no longer a pawn in the games of the Legacy, the gods, or the Fates.

Lifting a hand, her power swirled again, this time leaving a gleaming gold dagger in her palm. But it wasn’t just gold. There were silver and black etchings down the blade. Marks and symbols she’d never be able to read but knew what they said.

No, she wasn’t a pawn.

She wasn’t a Source.

She wasn’t a Queen or a Lady or a god.

But she was a reckoning.

She was vengeance.

She was chaos and fury and everything in between.

And even if she could choose it for herself, there was no one left to be her balance.