Sweet Venom by Rina Kent - 38

38

T he crunch of gravel reaches me first, and my fingers pause around the embroidery before I let it drop on the small couch.

I pull the curtain back and look out the window and see Dahlia hopping out of the car, juggling a box.

Two distinct emotions go through me: bitter relief and crushing disappointment.

I’m the one who ran away a week ago, but every time Dahlia comes over—three times in a week because she worries too much—I’m hit with a sense of paralyzing anticipation and dread.

The hope that it might be someone else.

Even after I wrote the safe word and had to wipe my tears so he wouldn’t see them on the paper.

God, I miss him. So much.

I feel hollow without him.

I stand up and head to the door.

The place I asked Lawrence to get for me is one of his unmapped safe houses and is only an hour away from Graystone Ridge in a forgotten, less affluent town.

According to Lawrence, Jude won’t search for me this close and will assume I’ve changed coasts .

The wood creaks under my steps as I walk to the door, and the scent of stale wood and untouched air fills the space. Everything here is still, and the deep quiet presses against my ears. The walls are a soft, muted gray, and it should feel welcoming, but it doesn’t.

The living room is sparsely furnished—a beige couch, a wooden coffee table, and a lamp I barely turn on. The hardwood floor is cool under my socked feet as I move through the space, taking in the kitchen’s untouched countertops, the fridge stocked with food that I forget to eat, the sink that’s empty because I don’t make meals worth dirtying dishes for.

I’ve lost the will to cook when there’s no one to enjoy those meals with me.

As I open the door, I can see the lingering remnants of winter clinging to the world, patches of old snow melting into the damp earth, the trees still skeletal, waiting for spring to bring them back to life.

Everything is waiting.

Maybe including me.

“Viii!” Dahlia drops the box on the porch and hugs me. “Ugh, I’ve missed you so much.”

“You were here two days ago.”

“I still miss you.” She pouts. “This sucks. I suggested we ban Jude instead of you, and Kane just gave me a very unamused look.”

My heart thuds at the mention of his name, but I swallow. “No one banned me. I just chose to leave, Dahl.”

“I know, I know.” She pulls away and grabs the box of my stuff that I asked her to bring me.

When I try to help, she jokingly kicks me before she steps inside and puts it on the counter.

Before I close the door, I cast a glance in the distance as if expecting—or maybe hoping—to see the familiar black motorcycle I’ve been seeing in my dreams lately.

Or, more accurately, nightmares. Ones that end with Jude’s blood all over that motorcycle.

For the first time, I wish for Mama’s demon back on my chest. Anything is better than those ominous images.

I make Dahlia some coffee, and we sink into the couch. Neither of us is comfortable. This house doesn’t feel like home.

It doesn’t feel like anything at all.

“Are you lonely, Vi?” she asks softly.

“I’m fine. I might have to repeat this year at the new college I’ll enroll in, but I’ve been having so much fun with embroidering.”

“Liar. You’ve been working on that piece for the whole week. And you’re not eating properly. Don’t think I didn’t see all the food you didn’t touch in the fridge. You can’t survive on just ginger ale.”

“I’ll take that as a challenge.” I grin, trying to ease the mood.

“I’m not joking.” She frowns. “I’m truly worried about you. I don’t know what the hell you saw in that brute Jude, but I prefer the constant smile on your face when you were with him to these sad smiles.”

My lips press into a line. “That’s not possible.”

“Why not? You’re the one who left, so you can come back. Besides, he’s been going berserk this past week. Honestly, Vi. Kane said losing you and Preston is messing Jude up big time.”

“I’m the reason he lost Preston.”

“Oh my God. Is that why you left?”

“He was going on killing sprees again because of me.” I touch my tattoo. “I’ve seen him murderous to avenge his mother, and I know it killed something inside him. I don’t…want to be Susie Callahan 2.0. I don’t want to be the reason for his eventual decimation down the road of no return.”

“Okay, I get it. But those guys have been killing since they were young and will probably continue to do so for the rest of their lives. Do you think I like that Kane does it? Of course not. And I was a bit apprehensive at the start, but that’s just a part of who he is that I have to compromise with. Because I love him, and I know he loves me and would kill to protect me. Already has, actually. Maybe Jude feels the same. Killing to protect you could be his love language. Do you think you’ll never get past that?”

“It’s not really that.” I release a long exhale, my chest aching. “It’s that I was the reason he lost both Mario and Preston. What if next time, he’s the one getting killed?”

“Oh, Vi.” Dahlia takes my hand in hers, and I realize a tear has fallen down my cheek.

I wipe it with the back of my arm. “I’m being ridiculous.”

“No, you’re not. Your feelings are valid. But you shouldn’t feel guilty that you survived, Vi. You’ve always been a survivor and the strongest woman I know.”

“Please. That’s you.”

“No. It’s you . I had loving parents, but you didn’t, and you didn’t let that bring you down. You silently picked yourself up and moved forward. Whenever things got too hard, you didn’t just lie down and take it. You always got up and found a solution to move past the hurdle and even tried to find solutions to other people’s problems, too. You inspired me to be better and improve every day, and I’m telling you right now, I wouldn’t have become the person I am today if you weren’t in my life, Vi. The same applies to Laura and everyone in the communities we used to live in. So don’t ever think your life is worth less than anyone else’s, or I’ll be super mad.”

I laugh to hide the tears welling in my eyes. “You made me emotional.”

“Good. You deserve a reality check.” She grins. “Also, I know the whole Armstrong thing is making you uncomfortable, but I heard Jude tell Kane he’ll never allow them to force you into the family.”

“He…did?”

“Yup. I think he even asked his dad for help.”

“Impossible. He hates his dad.”

“Well, he obviously put that hatred aside for you.” She bites her lower lip. “I really don’t want to paint him in a good light, considering the stalking and the coma, but I found out a few things from Kane yesterday. He probably wanted me to influence you to come back. No, he was clearly aiming for that.”

I sit up straighter. “What things?”

She releases a long sigh and takes a sip of her coffee. “Apparently, Jude is the one who bought you the apartment and paid for your college tuition. He asked Kane to take credit because you wouldn’t have taken them if you knew they were from him. But if they were camouflaged as something Kane did for his girlfriend’s sister, then you were more likely to accept them.”

“He did that?”

“Yeah, annoying, I know. He’s also the one who found you the therapist, because she’s a big shot and doesn’t take on just anyone, and he procured the apartment we ‘accidentally’ found in Stantonville for a bargain price. Apparently, he didn’t like us—or, more accurately, you—living in that creepy guy’s attic, so he had to make up the whole business about an old person dying. He actually offered the guy a price that was higher than the market price just so he’d move out immediately. Kane was onboard with the plan, obviously.” She rolls her eyes. “Also, Jude is the biggest buyer from your online shop. The one who tips a lot?”

“UnderTheUmbrella?”

“Yeah, that one. Kane said he did that because you have too much pride and wouldn’t have accepted his money outright.”

“What an idiot,” I whisper through a scoff.

Bastard.

He did all of that while he was ignoring me after the coma—when I thought he was finally done tormenting me.

In reality, Jude saw how I lived, hated it, and decided to give me a new life.

A new start.

A way to accept myself, even if the methods were sketchy as hell.

And now, I don’t know what to do with all of this information.

After Dahlia leaves, I’m still snuggled on the couch, going through all of Jude’s purchases in my online shop, particularly the custom pieces he paid a lot of money for.

A blue umbrella patch, another one embroidered on a shirt, and a third on a pillowcase.

I read through our conversation after he sent me a thank-you tip upon receiving the pillowcase.

Me

Thank you so much for all your generosity. I don’t know if my embroidery deserves this much.

UnderTheUmbrella

It does. Don’t underestimate your work and your passion.

I needed that, truly. Don’t hesitate to contact me if you need any other custom pieces.

What else can a blue umbrella embroidery be put on?

Tablecloths, napkins, jackets, tote bags, etc. The options are endless.

We’ll do those, then, and anything else you can think of.

Oh, absolutely, and thank you! The umbrella must mean so much to you.

It does.

A knock comes at the door, and I startle, letting my phone fall to the couch. Then I go to open it. “Did you forget something, Dahl⁠—”

My words get stuck in my throat when I lay eyes on a tall man blocking my entrance who’s definitely not Dahlia.

Jude.

I almost don’t recognize him at first.

His broad frame casts a shadow over the dim porch light. He looks different—rougher, more worn down—but the same dangerous gleam lurks in his demeanor.

There’s a tension in the way he holds himself, shoulders bunched, muscles tight beneath his black leather jacket, as if he’s carrying something heavy and refusing to let it show.

His face is sharper than I remember, like the sole week we’ve spent apart has chiseled away anything soft, leaving only hard edges and quiet violence.

There are faint dark circles beneath his eyes, like sleep has been a stranger he doesn’t bother chasing. There’s also scruff along his jaw, a shadow of neglect rather than intention, making him look even more untamed, more like something barely held together.

His cutting rich-brown eyes pin me in place, raking over me like he’s trying to find something he lost.

The wind shifts, sending the scent of rain-soaked leather, cold air, and something unmistakably Jude curling around me.

My fingers twitch at my sides, resisting the urge to reach out, to trace the tension in his arms, to see if he’s as solid as he looks or if, this time, he’s just another figment of my imagination.

Instead, I swallow, then speak, my voice barely stronger than the wind howling between us. “How did you find me?”

“I followed Dahlia.” His voice sounds deeper, a bit hoarser. “She was probably in a hurry today, so she didn’t bother to lead me around in circles.”

Or maybe she did it on purpose.

“Didn’t you read the letter?” My voice breaks, and I swallow. “I asked you to let me go.”

He grabs my shoulders, and I gasp as he pushes me back, kicks the door closed, and slams me against it. “And I’m saying no, Violet. You can run to the ends of the earth, and I’ll find you.”

“Why? Because you can’t lose your toys?”

“Because I can’t lose you!” He breathes harshly, dropping his forehead to mine, his pants mingling with my fractured ones.

“I can’t lose you,” he repeats softly, as soft as Jude can speak. “Don’t make me lose you, too, sweetheart. Even if it’s just out of pity, stay with me. Don’t push me away.”

“It was never pity. I… ”

“You what?”

He’s searching my eyes, but he’s peeking into my soul, and I can’t find the will to close the door in his face.

I’m tired.

Of hiding.

Of pining.

Of choosing everyone else’s good before my own.

“Is this because of the killing?” He leans away slowly. “I’ll always kill anyone who hurts you, Violet. Always. But I’ll try to limit it, to make sure it doesn’t cause you pain⁠—”

“It’s not that. I just…don’t want you to get hurt because of me. I can’t live with that.”

He pauses, his brow furrowing, and then the light slowly returns. “Your leaving hurt me more than any imaginary scenarios you have in your head.”

“But—”

“No buts, Violet. If you were so scared about my safety, you should’ve talked to me, and I would’ve told you my father has assigned shadow guards on me since I was a kid. No one would be able to hurt me, you understand?” He releases a sigh. “No one but you and the letter you signed with your safe word.”

“I’m sorry.” I reach a tentative hand to his cheek, and he briefly closes his eyes, leaning into my touch. “I didn’t want to hurt you, but I truly thought you’d be better off without me.”

“Do I look better off?”

“You look like hell.”

His lips twitch in not quite a smile, but something similar. “It’s all your fault, sweetheart.”

“Mine?”

“You’re the one who made yourself a nook in my life, heart, and soul, and made me feel emotions I thought were impossible. You made me yours in every sense of the word, and I love you, Violet. I’m so far gone for you, I’d rather elope to the ends of the earth with you than live with all the riches and power without you. I know I’m not the easiest man to be around, and we started on the wrong foot, but if you let me, I’ll make you my goddess.”

“Oh, Jude.” My heart is so full, I think it’ll burst. “Why would you love someone as broken as me?”

“I’m broken, too. We can fit our pieces together until we make something whole.”

“I have so many scars.”

“I’ll kiss each and every one of them until you love them as much as I do. Besides.” He kisses the top of my nose. “I have many scars, too. The worst was covered by you.”

“Me?”

He lifts his shirt, showing me the barren tree and the umbrella. “You don’t remember it, but the first time we met, you gave me a blue umbrella and a protein bar. Even after I yelled at you to fuck off. I was bloodied and had a long gash here that I covered with this tattoo.”

“Oh. That’s why you ordered all those embroideries with the blue umbrella.” I pause. “Dahlia told me.”

“Yeah. I still have that umbrella and protein bar.”

“Oh my God. That’s so precious.” I smile, my heart overflowing with emotions. “I wouldn’t have guessed that stranger was you.”

“Am I that forgettable?”

“No.” I smile. “I just have fuzzy memories of it. I don’t think I looked at your face properly back then. You know, because I’m a scaredy-cat and was truly terrified of all the blood.”

“But you still helped. ”

“I can’t stop myself from doing that—helping others in need, I mean.”

“You don’t have to. You can heal others, and I’ll protect you, sweetheart.”

“Jude…”

“Yes?”

“I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve you.”

“Allowing me to stalk you, maybe?”

I chuckle. “I liked it sometimes. Knowing you couldn’t stay away.”

“Mmm. Seems like we need to explore that in further detail.”

I grin, then wrap my arm around his waist. “You’re the only person I ever wanted all for myself. The first man who made me feel special just the way I am. I love you so much more than I could admit. I’d rather be with you despite all the drama and danger than live a boring, peaceful life without you.”

“You’ll be mine for life, sweetheart?”

“Mm. Will you also be mine, Jude?”

“Always.

And then he’s kissing me, and I’m smiling through the tears.

Some need to change to find love.

I just needed to find myself with the help of the love of my life.